The Book Of Numbers

Numbers 11:1,33

JahwehAlmightyJehovahGawd despises dissent. He has no tolerance for an inkling of it. Since I'm obviously very fond of it and it's what this website is all about, I oppose Him.

In verse 1 He burns to death His own chosen people because they complain. Evidently He's not the god of democracy and He's not willing to talk things out.

In verse 33 He does what He so often does throughout The Babble. He fucks with His chosen children. First He gives them quail. Then He smites them with a grievous plague while they're eating the quail. This is a God who cannot be trusted, not for one second.

Numbers 14:30-35

Verse 34 is very instructive. "And ye shall know my breach of promise."

Breach of promise... What?

Humans are certainly very capable of breaking a promise. Is this verse implying that God is too? Since the verse is in first person, with God doing the talking, we can conclude that yes this is the case. But if God Himself can break a promise and threaten to hurt his own chosen children, what sets Him apart from mere humans? What sets him apart from capricious pagan gods of weather?...And why should we trust Him and worship Him?...

Numbers 15:32-36

Death from God for picking up sticks...

Numbers 16:30-35

A quite bizarre passage about sinkholes swallowing people and people being killed for burning incense.

At least the Old Testament's authors had a variegated imagination. They probably knew that God's always killing people by direct smiting or with plague would get old and after awhile sound a little suspicious, so they occasionally sprinkled in a new method of genocide. In this case it was the biblical version of a sinkhole.

In my childhood home of western Oklahoma, sinkholes were fairly common in sandy, river-bottom areas. They were never weapons which deliberately swallowed people though. As far as we know, Jehovah-God never used those sinkholes as weapons to ground wheat-harvesting combines, tractors or pick-up trucks, but in this passage JG uses sinkholes as weapons. In at least one other passage of the OT - Exodus 11:6, JG does the same thing.

My salient thought after reading this sick passage is: If this is how the chosen people are treated, what good does it do to be of the chosen people?!

Numbers 25:1-9

JehovahGod decapitates 24,000 of his own chosen people...exactly 24,000...

An entirely nauseating episode - if the heads were severed on a hilltop they're probably still rolling.

Only a warped, sick, demented, perverted mind can find this chapter palatable or worship the deity who divinely inspired it.

Numbers 26:1-10

Brutal, savage, deplorable...Nothing else needs to be said. Leviticus, Numbers and Deuteronomy are all close contenders for the sickest book in the anthology...

Numbers 31

As in the book of Joshua, the soldiers of Yahweh roll through the enemy with no resistance. This time, God, via Moses, has 12,000 men fighting for Him. In a real battle, some of the 12,000 would die. But this isn't real. This is The Bible. The warriors of God have not one casualty, while the Midianites have many.

If God had wanted to, He would have commanded Moses to kill the "women children" as well. But God and Mo spared them. Just what are the "women children"? They are textually contrasted with women who have been with a man. Therefore, we can conclude that "women children" refers to virgins. It isn't hard to figure out why Moses and God would want them kept alive.

See also Deuteronomy 2 and 3:1-6 for another rout by God's team. Yea team! This team always rolled up and down the field without a struggle. An occasional penalty incurred by teammates squabbling amongst themselves, but no fight put up by the opposing team. Yahweh's team always plowed through the opposing defense like the Tampa Bay Buccaneers would plow through a high school football team.

I Samuel
II Samuel