The Book Of Judges

What follows is a test the Bible must pass.

I swear on the name and honor of Nature that I've never read this anywhere, in a pro-Bible or freethought publication of any kind, and that I just came up with it a few secs ago. And I insist it's a valid, viable test. The test is:

To convince the reader of its inspiration, any given sampling of the Bible must appear to be inspired. More specifically, the reader should be convinced of the Bible's divine authorship when he or she reads any page or chapter or book of the Bible, or any jot and tittle of any variety whatsoever.

Even if a person randomly opens the Bible to a page and reads the first thing his eyes land upon, and if that thing is the word "fro," the person should be irreversibly attuned to the Bible's inspiredness by the mind of God. He or she should automatically discern the fruit of God's thoughts. This should also happen if one's eye lands only upon the letter "o."

Of course, this would not happen if reading the same words and letters in another book, say, a poem by John Greenleaf Whittier. And that's just my point. Even though the word "fro" and the letter "o" mean nothing by themselves, they should have power if read from the pages of the Bible, if those pages are derived from God's brain.

This inspiredness should cover all the translations to the hundreds of languages and dialects the Bible has undergone.

When reading an entire book in the biblical anthology, divine inspiredness should be overwhelming. When even a skeptical mind reads any of the 66 books therein, he or she should reflexively bow down to the authority of the Word. The Bible's inspiredness should even overcome the most avidly doubting mind, including my own. Any verse or book of the Anthology should scream "I'm inspired!" and thus lead to belief and trust in BibleGod. No more doubt should remain.

Inspiredness should slap the reader in the face as if it were a priori knowledge, without previous advice that the Bible was inspired by God. In other words, an alien visiting Earth could be given a copy of the Bible, sit down and read it briefly and be incontrovertibly persuaded it is divine in origin, without ever having been told it was.

The test has been proffered, and now we can apply it to individual books. The Book of Judges gets to go first. This book fails the inspiredness test miserably, much more miserably than almost all other books of the Bible.

Judges is so obviously, so blatantly human that anyone who says it's inspired should be laughed out of the human race into the plant kingdom. (This is an insult to plants, though, because a plant's remarkably complex process of photosynthesis bedazzles the feeble mind of a Bible-believer. Said more simply, a plant is smarter than a Bible-whore. The Bible-whore is beset with mental distortions. He suffers from dangling ganglia; his grey matter has been disenfranchised).

Judges has not the slightest hint of inspiration from the mind of any god, whether small g or capital G. Even a Christian should notice this when perusing it.

Only the mind clouded by fear will not realize this fact. If reading this shitty and despicable book is not enuff, my commentary on the Book of Judges will convince the diehard-est Bible-believer of its unholiness. Anyone with a mind will see what I mean.

It is absolutely astonishing that anyone can think for a nanosecond that Judges was written by God. A first-grader with an average first-grade IQ could write better than its author(s). Its themes are banal and superficial.

Read on, read the book of Judges, but if you're searching for profundity, skip to Ecclesiastes.

After you finish the book, if you can finish it, read my commentaries on its chapters. As always, read God then read me.

Judges 9:23

This verse is reminiscent of Psalms 78:49-51. More evil from a good God.

If God sends forth an evil spirit, as He does here and as He did in Psalms 78, He is ee-vill! Say that slowly, Xtians, recite it, so you can grasp it - memorize it so you can write it on the chalkboard in Sunday school next week.

As always, logic rules. You can't argue with logic...Well, you can, but you'll lose.

Judges 11

A dude named Jephthah promises to sacrifice his daughter to Jehovah, and the almighty, omnipotent Jehovah, who has all the power in and over the universe and who allegedly hates wrongdoing does not stop the human sacrifice but permits Jephthah to keep his promise and commit the foul deed.

Do you still worship this bloodthirsty God? What sets this God apart from the gods of the pagans, who also accepted human sacrifices? The Butcher In The Sky, constantly throughout the OT demands a variety of blood sacrifices, from those lowly turtledoves and pigeons to his own son! So, it's no surprise that He accepts a human sacrifice here. It is no surprise that the writer of this divinely inspired chapter made the sacrificial lamb a female and a virgin, since his beastly God hated females. If Jephthah had offered his son, surely the narrative would have had the Almighty practice some divine intervention and spare his life as a male.

No Feminists In the OT...

Read Judges 19, then answer this:

After reading this episode of enormous cruelty and inhumanity, do you still believe this Unholy Bible is divinely inspired? If yes, you desperately need psychiatric help. Was there any need for this putrid chapter to be in the Bible for any fucking reason? Joseph Lewis rightly asked in his book "The Bible Unmasked": Why is this book even in the Bible?! It certainly has no redeeming social value.

Judges 19 continues the legacy of cruelty towards women which is exhibited throughout the Old Testament. The horrible treatment of a concubine herein reveals again that the Hebrews were busy subjugating worship of the Goddess and gradually replacing it with a patriarchal, monotheistic, ethnocentric, yea, Judeocentric worship system. To these assholes, women were pleasure toys, slaves, property and objects of murder and mutilation.

How amazing it is that violence on TV is decried and libraries ban books and videos with sex and violence, but the Bible, as far as I know, is never banned. Of course, it shouldn't be, but if standardization of censorship and banning norms were enacted, it would be. Judges 19 is about as graphic as it gets.

I theorize that people read chapters like Judges 19 then go on to commit terrible crimes against humanity, like the one depicted in this chapter.

Rape, Pillage and Plunder For the Evil Bastard In the Sky

Two chapters after the nauseating and disgusting Judges 19 we come to Judges 21. This is yet another example, with which the Babble is replete, of the followers of a cruel God committing all kinds of cruelty.

Notice the words "whom they caught" in reference to captives of the invasion in verse 23. The unlucky virgins "danced" (interpreted: tried to get away) but Yahweh's holy will was satisfied. Fornication was fine if it was done by his Hebrew warriors in lust with war brides...

Judges 21

Another episode of God's holy people raping, pillaging and plundering for their bloodthirsty deity, who must have enjoyed watching women getting defiled (I mean, it must get kinda boring in Heaven sometimes and God probably yells at the angels occasionally to shut the fuck up and quit singing "Hallelujah" 'cause He wants to watch some rape action). Also another instance of how men were always given the upper hand over women in this inequitable "society" of the ancient Middle East.

Notice the words "whom they caught" in verse 23. The unlucky virgins "danced" (tried to get away is no doubt what this word means, since it surely doesn't mean they danced with joy), but Jehovah's holy will was satisfied and his followers' lust for flesh was consummated.

I Samuel
II Samuel