Deuteronomy 13

Of the gamut of deathly methods favoured by BibleGod, stoning is probably his most very favourite. He here commands his chosen Children to stone any brethren who go astray to worship other gods besides him. Once more, no tolerance of dissent is shown. It's Yahweh's way or no way.

How ironic that a democracy like the U.S. has so many people who worship this God, who yea, call this nation "a Christian nation," yet this God is the most undemocratic god possible.

How interesting that "other gods" are mentioned. This means the priests who wrote Deut. knew of the other gods of other peoples. Hebrew desert "society" was a fucking dystopia, but the planet was multicultural then as it is now. Instead of tolerating multiculturalism as the United States does, however, the children of Israel determined, under the aegis of its insecure God, to blot out the foreign blight from the face of the Earth. They were instructed by Yahweh/the priests to erase worshipers of other gods whenever and wherever they were found upon the earth, even in their own camp. Instead of sitting down with a Buddhist or Baalist, hypothetically, to learn more about his religion, a child of Israel was told to stone the Buddhist or Baalist to death. So much for diversity. Apparently higher education, with its encouragement of learning other viewpoints, was not yet extant in the human race, and certainly not within Yahweh's clan. The Children were xenophobic motherfuckers just like the God they created in their image.

Stoning is used as a way of taking the breath of life from a fellow human here as it is throughout the early OT, including in this same book of Deut., in the 21st chapter.

There, the victims are not infidels who kowtow to some god besides YahwehAlmightyJehovah, but incorrigible sons of parents who are commanded to extinguish them for their rebellion.

Tell me, where is the love? Where is the patience that a child will improve with time and maturity? Just as YahwehAlmightyJehovah despises heretics who won't worship Him and dissenters who dare to question him and complain, He deplores children who won't obey their parents.

Deut. 21 is pristine. Unsoiled. Never nebulous. Short 'n sweet, to-the-point. Just kill 'em. Don't love 'em or quietly talk to 'em. Don't ground them for a month or make them sit in their room or take their TV away. KILL THEM! What would the moron James Dobson say about this? His Focus On the Family outfit in Colorado spreads the word that BibleGod is a god of love and family, that the family is the core unit of America and goodness, that the family is preeminent and a creation of God. Apparently the sick fuck hasn't read Deut. 21 or if he's read it he's twisted the meaning. (Probably the latter). There's absolutely no parental or familial love therein. Murdering your own kid does not continue the family unit and it doesn't allow the virtue of unconditional love...

Deuteronomy 19

Cities of refuge for accidental murderers...Hmmm...This is in contrast with prosecution of the modern offense of involuntary manslaughter. Vacuous Bible-believers say we should follow biblical principles and, at the same time, modern laws. This chapter presents a conundrum in which these believers cannot safely advocate both legal codes, because they conflict. Believers who advocate Mosaic law must make a choice when such conflict occurs, as it often does.

The Xenophobe In the Sky

Deuteronomy 20:10-20

Xenophobia of the worst kind.

A Whoring We Will Go, A Whoring We Will Go

Deuteronomy 21

Any human who is a female and at the same time a worshiper of the Bible's God should think twice about such an inequitable combination.

How can any female with any female pride at all read these verses and still worship the God of the Bible?

By being in extreme denial, that's how...

In verse 11, women are deemed nothing more than sex toys for conquering Hebrew brutes.

In verse 12, the Hebrew brutes are commanded, by none other than the Brute In the Sky, to tell the newly conquered women to shave their heads and trim their fingernails. Why in the fuck this is commanded in the allegedly holy Bible is beyond me. It's a question that can be answered only when we all get to Heaven.

Those young Hebrew studs must have been rock-hard as they talked about the babes they'd capture when sunrise came. As they sat around the campfire, roasting marshmallows and she-goats, I bet they wrote Israeli folk songs about how they would partake of the pleasures of bald-headed women. They no doubt plucked their lutes and lyres and beat their bongos while joining in chorus, enjoying a rare moment of gaiety in their harsh war-filled existence.

"I'm gonna get me a war-whore/Oh yes I am, yes I am/I'm gonna go get me a fine young babe/When that golden sun arises at dawn/By the power of Yahweh my blues will be gone..."

Of course the bastards sang in Hebrew, not in English, but you get the gist.

Now we come to the last two verses, which are the most humiliating of all: Keep the warbride naked and in captivity, don't let her leave your house (this may be where the cruelty of the ball-and-chain originated, and likewise the idea of keeping your bride naked and barefoot and pregnant - who knows?), make sure she grieves being away from her parents - for an entire month, then after that time has elapsed finally go in unto her and fuck her, automatically making her your wife. Skip the ceremony of marriage, because according to the all-wise verse 13, the mere act of copulation makes her your wholly betrothed. Then, after all these commands are done, if you get tired of her and want some fresh slave meat, kick her out to let her wander around in the hot desert 'til the next horny macho Heeb snags her to be his own pleasure piece.

An obvious question is: What happened to the sacred rite of marriage which Christians say is necessary before sex?

You Christians always preach that marriage is an absolute moral necessity before sex. But do you see the problem here? There's absolutely no marriage ceremony at all in this text. This is all about fulfilling lust, which other parts of the Bible say men are supposed to suppress and resist! This is also all about cruelty to women, and fulfilling one's patriarchal and misogynistic duty as a Hebrew. No marriage rite anywhere in these verses. In fact, the way the bondage is consummated is by fucking, not by marriage. In this case, thousands of years ago under Mosaic law, it's okay to make a woman yours by enslaving her and poking her, but nowadays you must marry her first, so you Christians say. How could any man except a practitioner of bondage & discipline treat a woman like this?! Kidnap her, shave her head, trim her fingernails and toenails, strip her naked, make her mourn for her parents for an entire month, then make her your sex slave! How can anyone worship a God who commands such garbage?...You Christians have a lot of explaining to do.

Yet another obvious question is: How in the fuck could a normal male restrain himself from jumping the poor girl and banging her before the month is up? Those Heebs must have had a lot of discipline.

All this is from God's little instruction book on how to treat your fellow human beings with compassion and respect. If you don't believe me, grab your nearest copy and read it yourfuckingself!!

Without a doubt, brainwashed Xtian readers will try to throw in an FUI (fucked-up interp) at this juncture. Christians are full of those and never have to worry if they run out because they possess an uncanny ability to always manufacture more.

Deut. 21:10-14 is clear, though. It's all about treating your fellow humans inhumanly. It's all about patriarchal society run amok, carried beyond the extreme.

Remarkably (actually, not that remarkably if you know your Babble like I know mine), Yahweh thunders out to Moses in verse 14 that Israeli soldiers who keep captive war-whores in bondage and use them as sex toys are not to sell them as merchandise.

How inconsistent of the great Yahweh. Keep them in bondage, bend them over as much as you want, (after that first long month's wait is over), show them total disrespect, don't let them out of your house, but don't sell them after you've used them for the sake of your pleasure. You - the Hebrew hero, can have them as slaves but you can't sell them to anyone else to be their slaves. This command is inconsistent because in other passages of unholy writ (i.e. Levit. 25:44-46 and Ex 21:1-7) God does command and sanction enslavement of humans

God's hatred for women is revealed yet again a few chapters later, in Deut. 25. All the chick in this passage tries to do is break up a fight, and God orders her hand cut off. Inexplicably he qualifies her punishment to grabbing one of the men by his "secrets." Why in the hell would she do that? Unless she was trying to teach her man a lesson and grab him by the balls and lead him home...

Deuteronomy 22

Verse 5:

The Peeping Tom In the Sky doesn't want to look down and see any cross-dressing when he spies on his human creatures below. Watching rape, incest, murder, slavery and cannibalism are just fine, but please!, no transvestite activities. A Hebrew guy dressing like a Hebrew chick is a fucking no-no!

Verses 13-21:

I ask all Bible-believing, God-fearing, Christian women to tell me: How oh how can you worship the great Misogynist In the Sky?

If this isn't divine discrimination against women, I don't know what is...

Verses 20-24:

The God-of-All commands the killing of a girl who loses her virginity. The shame here is that she played the whore in her father's house. More evidence of the utmost importance assigned patriarchy by the writers of the Bible. God also commands the killing of the man who deflowers a virgin. He also commands the execution (by the very painful and slow method called "stoning") of adulterer and adulteress.

Who was it that said we should follow, in our modern times, the ethics and commands of the Bible? I believe a few million people have said that, all of them incorrectly.

Deuteronomy 23:1

We read of divine discrimination in Leviticus, under the aegis of the Levite priests. This attitude continues in the wretched Deuteronomy.

In the first verse of the 23rd chapter of Deut., the God who discriminates against women many times in His Bible and against handicapped citizens in Levit., discriminates against the unfortunates who have injured testicles or decapitated penises. Well, actually they don't have decapitated penises so that was a poor choice of phrases. Their members were at one time severed from their bodies. Anyway, YahwehGod wants only perfect physical specimens to enter his churches, and, implicitly, his Heaven. But why He'd give a fuck about that, why anyone would need a cock in Heaven, is beyond me...His mind is unsearchable and His ways past finding out, yet He wants only the becocked to sit in his velvety pews, not the cockless. Men with bruised balls are also forbidden from the sanctuary.

Deuteronomy 23:2

How in the fuck would those in charge of the congregation of the Lord know who was a bastard and who wasn't? And did they also exclude illegitimate females?

Being a bastard doesn't make anyone look any different or smell any different than anyone else. And how would the congregation bosses know if a bastard was one "to the tenth generation"?

The inscrutability of these commands doesn't come close to negating the fact that they were thoroughly cruel and uncompassionate. Being a bastard is in no way the bastard's fault! Yet Yahweh bans the bastards (and bitches?) from his holy congregation.

Lucky bastards.

Deuteronomy 23:12-14

If you shit in the desert, dig a hole and bury it. Just imagine you're a big kitty and that the desert is one great big litter box and the sand is the litter. So when thou easest thyself, be a good kitty. If you are, YahwehGod will bless you and take care of you.

Deuteronomy 28

This is such a nice god. Among the plenitude of afflictions He promises for going astray, note the plague of hemorrhoids (emerods) in verse 27. At least He likes variety.

Yea, He is a storm-god, a cannibal-god, a death-god, and a god who cannot be trusted...This chapter makes me rejoice mightily that I'm not a member of the chosen tribe of Israel. I can live without the sore botch and the emerod, thank you...

I Samuel
II Samuel