Crock Of Ages



Do a lot of people believe in Jesus?...

Well, let's see...Does a chicken have feathers? Does a bear shit in the woods? Is my scrotum rugose?...Does Ross Perot have a big bulbous head?...Is Mick Jagger ugly?...Is Michael Jackson effeminate? Do babies wear diapers? Did Ali Baba ride a magic carpet?

Yes, Jesus has had and still has millions of followers. But I say that instead of proving his divinity or veracity, this strength in numbers demonstrates the gullibility and susceptibility of human beings...They crave a connection with the cosmic, which will forever be inscrutable to them. They will forever think of names for Nature. Of all the names human consciousness has called Nature, "Jesus Christ" is one of the most popular and enduring. This does not mean, though, that he should be faithfully worshiped or accepted as a God-man who literally lived on this planet. This does not establish his credentials as The Messiah.

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The Second Coming is on the heavenly agenda as one of the defining moments in the end of history. See my section "Enraptured" for speculation on whether this event will be clothed or unclothed. I'm leaning towards a naked Coming, in which NakedJeezus sucks all his followers up to heaven in the great and momentous Rapture.

He apparently tires of their company soon though, and like a rude host leaves his worshipers in Heaven alone with the Father, the Holy Spirit and the angels and returns to Earth as MadJeezus to avenge those who refused to follow him, thereby punishing them for exercising their freedom of choice which he gave them to begin with (you know, it was one of those God-given rights we humans and especially Americans were granted).

Behaving like someone who believes in a violent form of anarchism, MadJeezus thrusts his sickle into the Earth in Revelation 14 and fucks shit up all over the place!, sending all manner of plague and pestilence upon the earth. MadJeezus goes on a fucking rampage just like his father's evil angels did thousands of years before (see Psalms 78).

I can just hear MadJeezus singing Alice Cooper tunes while he's kicking ass and killing people. "No More Mister Nice Guy!...School's Out For-Ev-er!...School's out, motherfuckers...Yeah, school's out forever!"

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Matthew 24

The author of Matthew 24, whoever he or she was (Biblical scholars tell us it wasn't Matthew), definitely thought the world would end soon and Jesus would return soon. This is obvious from the usage of such contemporary terms as "kings" and "synagogues." This author and others who made predictions on the future were obviously "stuck in the past." They always used contemporary and current terminology and place names, never place names of the future. Never do we see "Iran" used for Persia or "Iraq" for Babylonia. We never see the place names "United States" or "Canada" in this allegedly prophetic book either. The reason is easy to figure out. These "prophets" knew absolutely nothing of the future. They were dysfunctional anal motherfuckers who were unhappy and had a death wish for the world. All they cared about was their sick little country Israel and how God would someday punish the rest of the world for not honoring their pitiful fucked-up nation. They prophesied what they hoped would happen, not what they divinely knew would happen. They were living out a fantasy. Don't ever forget this.

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The "free offer" of salvation is anything but free. If anything, it's forced. It's a conditional offer, not a free offer. Any offer which involves punishment, in this case severe and everlasting punishment, for one's making the wrong choice, is not free. The free offer of salvation presented in the New Testament's Gospels and spewed by preachers is more like a threat and command than an offer - it's almost as if Jesus is forcing people to get saved by worshiping Him.

The small percentage of Christians who do actually witness, as the Bible and their preachers command them to, always admonish lost souls to "get saved."

Get saved - from what? The doctrine of original sin is merely a concept. Sin itself is just a theoretical idea, part of a theological system. It's abstract.

Sin has nothing to do with right and wrong. Instead, it's a violation of God's laws.

Since it's imaginary, you can't get saved. There's nothing to be saved from.

You weren't born a sinner. You were born human. And you didn't ask to be born. Noone did. You had no choice in the matter.

So, for God to condemn you as a sinner, to condemn you to Hell as soon as you're born, and to transfer to all individuals - generation by generation - the guilt of sin which originated with Adam and Eve's fucking-up in the Garden, is outrageously cruel.

God saves some, damns others. This is also cruel. Focus on this analogy: If you had 1 million kids, would you love some of them and hate some? Or would you love them all? Or hate them all? As a human mother or father you'd love every one of 'em, and you would not condemn any of them to everlasting pain. Why should God be any different? Aren't we made in his image? An omniscient God would either love all or hate all, not pick and choose.

As stated elsewhere in this website, BibleGod practices conditional love and does not tolerate dissent - not one milligram of it. Read Revelation 16 to see how his son MadJesus dowses the planet with vials of wrath. See Acts 12:23 to see how he kills a man because that man refuses to give him the glory. Freedom of choice is nowhere in these passages. Any choice which has punishment as a consequence of exercising it is not free.

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For enlightenment concerning Jesus, and to offset the shitload of propaganda you've been fed, read Luke 19:27, Revelation 2:23, Revelation 14:14-20, and Revelation 19:15-21.

You think Jesus is Mr. Nice Guy? No way! If you're brave enough, read these verses then tell me if they depict the same meek passive peace-lovin' love-lovin' hippy you've always thought Jesus was.

You'll see that he's really a fucked-up psychopath and a vicious asshole with murder on his mind. You'll discover he's just like his father. You'll see how he follows the lead of another famous father-son bully combination, George H. and George W.. Wait - who followed whose lead? God and Jesus came before George and George, but George and George enjoyed their reign of terror before Jeezus will enjoy his...

In all four of these passages you'll detect absolutely no compassion, no forgiving of enemies, no turning of cheeks - unless they're buttcheeks, no giving of a second chance. All you'll notice is absolute brutality and vengeance from a savior-god who can't stand competition.

If Jesus is a nice guy, so is Timothy McVeigh. So is Ted Bundy. So is Charles Manson.

Say Charles Manson moves into your neighborhood. He asks all the citizens of the neighborhood for their allegiance, yea, demands that everyone bow down and worship him as the Messiah, and believe in their hearts that the promise of salvation is available only through accepting him as Lord and Savior. He points out that after all he is Man-Son, the Son of Man, which the Bible describes. Would you do it? Fuck no, you wouldn't do it, unless you were one of those insecure, vulnerable types who falls for cult movements. Most people would never say yes to Charlie, but millions say yes to Jeezus.

Why worship Jesus? You've never even seen Jesus in real life, not on TV and not standing right in front of you. You don't even know if he was white or black, and you wouldn't believe it as a white man if you were told that the earliest concepts of Jesus were of a black messiah.

Jeezus is a serial killer just like Charlie M. and just like Ted Bundy. He's a mass murderer just like Adolf Hitler and Saddam Hussein. If you don't believe me, look it up! Read the Book of Revelation. Read Luke 19:27 to learn of Jeezus' homicidal proclivities.

After you read, do the right thing. Disbelieve.





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I just read John 6:66...

How interesting...How very very interesting!

Jesus is rejected. Is this because he was really the Antichrist? Is it any coincidence the numerical aspect of this verse is 666? Of course, after extracting the insignificant colon, that is...

Six-six-six - the number of the Beast, the number of man thrice stated. This verse follows up on v. 64 and says some of Jesus' disciples rejected his ass. Is that because Jesus the Christ was really the Antichrist and the real Christ had not yet been revealed? Is it just a coincidence that this was related in John 6:66? You tell me...

Wait a minute, I bet I know what it was. I bet it was a metamorphosis from the ram to the goat...from the zodiacal Ram of Aries which Jesus represented to a goat-man born of the devil.

The disciples probably got scared when Jeezus bleated. "Bbbbaaaaaa. Bbbbaaaasssstarrrrrrd." They were surely terrified when a second later, points sprung from his ears and cloven hooves sprouted out of his sandals. I would've hauled ass if I 'd been one of 'em.