Gleanings From The Peculiar Cult Of Book-Worship

If there was a verse in Second Hezekiah which asked "Didst thou pisseth in Shittim?", Bible-believers would swear it was inspired by God.

Sometimes I think there's no hope for these people, then I realize there is. I realize this because I remember I once was a devout Bible-worshiper myself. I thought every word of the King James Version Bible was divinely inspired. I would have thought this came from God's mouth first before it passed into a prophet's mind: "When thou pisseth against the wall in Shittim, and relieveth thy bowels in the land which I have given you, leave one part of thy labour upon the ground for the beetles of the earth to toil with, lest the beetles of the earth build arid homes. When thou pisseth in Shittim, thou shalt piss before the sun's going down is nigh." I would have likewise believed an exhortation in First Uriah to defile every virgin in the encampment for the edification of the people and the morale of the Hebrew troops was a righteous thing to do because Yahweh spake it.

Christians worship the Bible. They think they worship God the Father and his son, and some of them believe that God the Father even became the son or inhabited the son while he was on our planet, but in actuality they worship a book. They exalt the book which they deem holy.

The Book, which is actually an anthology of 66 books (could've been more, but several were expunged by the all-wise Catholic roundtable which decided what was true and what was apocryphal), is the idol of Christians. It is the source of their religion. It is the sacred icon of their idolatry. They would know nothing about Jeezus if the Book didn't tell them about him.

So Christians and other Bible-believers practice idolatry after all, despite the fact it's forbidden by their own Ten Commandments and condemned by God in other passages. How fucking ironic. Bible-whores worship a book which instructs them not to worship anything but the God it purveys! That fucking splits my sides...

When I was a kid, I was taught to revere the Bible. It was a grievous sin to even place anything on top of it - it had to always be on top. It was an even more egregious sin to go to church without taking your Bible with you.

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Christians and other Bible believers, I'm afraid you've been tricked. It would appear you have been deceived.

You've looked at the word "holy" on the cover of the "Holy Bible" and you've concluded that if the book says it's holy it must be. Please, from now on don't be so naive!

Likewise, you've believed in the Bible because of the awesome feats of its big bad God and you want to be on His side. Naturally...

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How far into the Bible must one go before finding the first mistake? Not very fucking far! The Babble is proven fallible instantaneously. Look on the cover for the first error. The Bible is the Bible, but it ain't holy, so it should not be worshiped, altho it is by millions of humans. So the word "Holy" should not be on the cover. There's the first of many errors.

Likewise with the New Testament...The first mistake is in the very first line! "The Gospel According To St. Matthew"...This book was not written by a dude named Matthew. Even pro-Christianity Bible scholars know this...

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Fuck the Greek. Fuck the Hebrew. We shouldn't have to worry about either one or even know that the English version of the Bible came from the Greek and Hebrew. The meaning of a verse should be precisely the same in English as it is in Greek and Hebrew. Nobody should have to ever say, "But in the Greek Jesus meant so-and-so and so-and-so." Fuck that. That's a cop-out. It gets annoying after awhile...

"But in the original Hebrew..." Fuck off! I'm not Hebrew and I don't read Hebrew, so I shouldn't have to hear about the original language of the text or consult it. Some churches even brag that they teach the Bible in the original Greek. Well, that just proves their Book is fallible, if it can't survive translation into other languages.

Liberal Vs. Literal

Both camps of Bible-believers are fucked.

The school of those who don't take every word of the Bible literally have the problem of not knowing which verses to deem real and which to deem figurative.

The camp which swears that every single word and syllable of the Bible represents a real event or absolutely real meaning has the accompanying task of solving contradictions within those words and syllables.

I've known and talked to many liberal Christians who say they don't believe in a literal hell (and good for them for not believing so, by the way), where people are really toasted forever. No matter that the Bible presents Hell in numerous places, the members of this camp won't believe in it, and they never proffer just what the Hell-ish verses do mean, not seeming to realize that if symbolic, "hell" represents something bad and oppressive, not good.

The literalist camp, however, of which I was a member for years, takes the Bible very seriously and thereby takes the hell-ish verses very seriously. This approach fucks up everything, though. For example, when reading the parable of the wheat and the tares the literalist warps the message of the parable, which is annihilation of the wicked.

By not acknowledging the symbolic nature of parables and other figurative functions of the Bible, the literalist is at a stopping point and cannot have an open perspective of the Bible. And just as noxious will be the literalist camp's reluctance to consider or consult extra-biblical sources to better understand the book they worship.

It's just a fucking book. Don't be serious as hell about it.

One example of how literalists go way too far with their cramped mindset is their acceptance of absurdities which the Bible expresses. Perhaps the most absurd of all being geocentricity .

They say "Fuck Copernicus and Galileo! All that matters is what our book says, and it says the Earth is stable that it shall be not moved!"

For a few years I was a geocentrist so I know how the brain constricts to prevent opposing information. I was a devout geocentrist because of a few verses in the Bible which do indeed teach the Earth sits still and everything whirls around it. My cosmology was fucked. At the time, needless to say, I didn't realize the Bible was a crock of shit. I worshiped the book. Worshiping a book blindly just because it teaches something leads to irrational beliefs like geocentricity.

On the other hand, I gotta admit, geocentricity is true after all! Planet Earth is the center of the universe. But then again, so is the state of Nebraska. So is Neptune. So is the star Arcturus. So is the remotest nebula in the farthest-away galaxy from Earth yet discovered. In a curved, infinite universe every body is the center point. This includes Earth.

Yes, I realize pre-Copernican geocentrists envisioned a finite universe with Earth at the central point. This, although Earth is not even the center of its own solar system. So tell me how can it be the center of the whole cosmos? They didn't realize at the time that our universe is infinite.

As for our planet itself, the classical, and sometimes modern, cosmology has Hell in the center. Under the scheme of geocentricity in a finite universe, Hell would be the center of the universe! What a fine way for JehovahGod to design his cosmos!

An implication of Earth as the very heart and center of things is that centrality signifies prime importance. This is a ridiculous notion since other parameters provide more importance to an object than mere placement. Political factors would be more crucial in determining how important an object or place is. So would economic factors, environmental factors, and the like. Physical centrality is linked with the strong anthropic principle, which asserts that God created the rest of this enormous cosmos just for us humans.

I'm surprised ancient Jews and Christians did not try to assign the center point of their flat Earth as Israel, thereby making it the center of the center. Surely some of them did, and surely a few quacks do so today. A co-worker of mine in the early 80s told me about some Fundamentalist literature he'd read which said Israel is the center of the universe and its location as such would cause the final great earthquake when that dude Jesus returned.

How utterly stupid to try to determine a center point for our globe. The only way Israel would be the center of the Earth is if it was in Hell, if the varying schemes of Bible believers are consistent and conjoined. Israel-in-Hell is ludicrous enough (although it is the center of the geopolitical Hell, without a doubt), since Israel is the Holy Land, but calling one spot the center of Earth is even worse, especially a city or nation located on the outside surface of a curved two-dimensional sphere. A spherical surface has no one center point. But then again, every single point is the center point. When dealing with a ball, which is three-dimensional, the geometry significantly changes. In a circular three-dimensional globe, the center point is inside. The inside middle, such as the hot core of the Earth, is at an equal distance from every point on the exterior surface.

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If the Bible is indeed the word of God, it should be free to all who want to read it. But you go into any bookstore that sells it and it always has a price tag. You have to pay for the word of God. How sick.

This is just another way in which the Bible is exalted. It becomes a commodity, and a function of capitalism, which is exalted above all other things exalted.